You know You're Mia When...
- Every time your history book says the word purge, your gag reflex is triggered.
- You have thrown up in the woods at your track meet.
- You took a book out of the library on the digestive system.... and it wasnt for
- You have a permanent colony of zits sitting on your chin.
- Your fingers are always dry but you dont want to put on lotion cuz it doesnt taste
- Every time someone gets up from the table to go to the bathroom you are CONVINCED
that they must be purging.
- You go to the store and buy diet magazines and a box of chocolate cookies (which
you eat while reading the diet magazines).
- You are a diet coke whore.
- You chew more gum than anyone you know because you are always paranoid that you
have vomit breath.
- Everyone you know thinks MIA stands for missing in action except for you...
- You are always late to class because youre not done purging yet.
- You are going to fail all of your finals because you cannot sit still and study
for five minutes without either binging or purging.
- Your friends at school think you never eat and your parents think you binge all
- You're surprised that there isnt a hole in the back of your throat.
- You get worse anxiety going to the dentist than your nine-year-old cousin.
- When people refer to something gross and say "That makes me want to throw up!" and
you think of what makes you want to throw up: ice cream, pasta, cookies, bagels...
- You pick restaurants and meals based on how they will taste coming up, and how easy
or hard it will be to purge.
- The local takeaway places know your 'usual' order, but they assume its to feed at
- You know where all the 'nice' public toilets are.
- Everything you eat is chosen because of its purgability.
- Your neighbours see you carrying bags of foodinto your flat , and give you strange
looks because they know you live alone.
- You always have a massive big water bottle with you.
- Icecream is your best friend...and your worst enemy.
- You have gone outside and purged in the woods behind your house, cus someone was
hogging the bathroom.
- You've been embarrased when the pizza guy and the chinese takeout guy arrived at
the same time (and you were home alone)!
- You've lost and gained the same stubborn 15 pounds for over a year.
- You've b/ped fruit loops, skittles, trix or fruity pebbles to see if it would come
up in funny colors.
- At the gas station you're at the counter with your order of cigs, diet soda, junk
food, breath mints and you think everyone knows what you're going to do with it.
- You will never drink/eat anything that day you go to the doctors incase (s)he puts
"the stick" in your mouth. Because otherwise he or she may be surprised what happens. . . . .
- You can spend 30 dollars on food and in 2 days it'll be gone, where'd that go?
- The thought of eating *insert food* makes you want to puke, so you eat it and puke.
- You remember restaurants, country's, friends houses etc. by the toilet. ("I haven't
been here before." *goes to bathroom* Ohhhh this place!)
- Your mother does the shopping one week and all the food expires so next week she
buys less and you have a tantrum.
- Your dentist tells you your cavities are not caused by sugar and his eyes tell you
what did cause it.
- The Pizza Hut guy arrives with two pizzas and looks strangely at the empty Domino's
- Your mother calls your boarding supervisor concerned about your weight gain and
asks her to limit what you eat.
- Your father calls your mother and tells her his concerned about your weight loss
and refusal to eat.
- Your checklist as you leave the house is Keys, Money, Phone, Toothbrush, Toothpaste,
- You see the movie Monster House and diagnose every kid. (The house has tonsils and
throws them up!)
- You bet your friends you can eat all the carbs in the house and they don't believe
you but end up forking out their cash.
- You hear about the pizza eating competition your friend watched and think 'dude...I
can do better than that.'
- Your afraid to be left alone in a house with food but wish everyone would just leave
so you can get to eating.
- You go to buy binge food and really need to get toilet paper as well, but dont,
in case they look at you funny...
- You binge while watching The Biggest Loser, then feel superior when you go purge.
- You're always ready with a witty excuse as to why your buying enough food to feed
a family of seven, but if your ever asked...you mumble something about greedy boyfriends, etc.
- You remember the old days when one regular sized meal from a takeaway place was
more than enough to fill you up uncomfortably...now its more like 2-3.
- You wash your hands before and after you 'use the restroom.'
- The smell of vomit, shit and pee doesn't bother you
- You've tried to convince other people you have one or more (or even all) of the
following : acid-reflux disease, over-active bladder, hyperhydrosis and irritable bowel syndrome.
- You run out of toilet paper very quickly.
- You wish you had a black toilet/shower/sink because you wouldn't have that yucky
permanent orange ring inside the bowl or around the drain.
- When you bite your nails not because you're anxious, but because you've binged and they'll hurt your throat.
- When you think that buying gum with chocolate gives it away, so you only get the chocolate and go to another shop to get
the gum, but end up getting more chocolate.
- When people are confused as to why you lose no weight but you know exactly why.
- When you realise you can't wear a bracelet because you take it off too often.
- When you are throwing up while driving in your car at 100km down the freeway.
- When you eat chocolate flavored laxatives, freak out because you ate "chocolate" and run to purge.
- You consider cutting your hair short so you dont have to hold it out of the way ALL the damn time!
- You consider asking the local council if you can get a large rubbish bin for your weekly collection as it simply isnt
large enough to hold all the rubbish...and you live alone.
- You feel like throwing a tantrum when the food your craving isnt available (eg. fast food shop sold out, store closed).
- You buy poweraid light to rebalance after purging, but then freak out at the cals in it, and end up purging it as well.
- You do wear a bracelet but you wear a stretchy one, so that you can
use it to pull your hair back in times of need. A two in one.
- When you binge on cough syrup because there's nothing left in the fridge.
- When you're wondering how come you can consume a Big Gulp and purge it back up, ending up with more than you started.
- When, during a binge, the lines between bulimia and pica suddenly becomes very blurred.
- When you can say you've taken a head-first dive into the toilet before.
- You drive 20 miles to a Chinese Food restaraunt where you know you wont see anyone you know (so you wont have to be embarassed
to have anyone see you ordering food) and you order a quart of Chicken lo mein, eat it ALL in your car, realize that your
parents are home so you wont be able to purge there (b/c they know about the ed), and so you drive to a public park thats
empty and use a porta potty instead where the smell inside is enough to help you puke....
- When you see shapes in your puke like you do in the clouds.
- When you and your friend have both binged and purged together.
- When you can sit there with a bunch of friends who all have some sort of ED and talk about puking, what you have, whats
it like, your favorite foods and places.
- When you have your "mia container and towel" for when your parents are home.
- When you clog up the toilet with puke than the sink in the same bathroom, have to plunge both, and your brother knocks
on the door asking why its taking you 45 min to pee.
- When your usual after dinner routine is to smoke a ciggarette and walk the dog (because your parents dont know you smoke
so you walk really fast to get away from the smoke) and now add puking dinner behind a dumpster.
- When you eat four snickers bars at eight in the morning and ask to use the bathroom, walk all the way out to
the "portable bathroom"(its a portable thats a bathroom) and puke in there because you know no one goes in there.
- You've gotten a "facewash" in a toilet.
- You can identify any partially digested food (hmm... looks like a baby carrot!)
- You know EXACTLY how much water to drink with a slice of bread.
- You've said to yourself more than once (or in the store) no, I can't have that, it won't come out easily.
- You've actually thought about syrup of ipecec before, altho you never bought it.
- You've purged in almost all your clothes.
- You have a "purge cup" or "purge bowl".
- There is a permenant *line* in your toilet bowl and the surface water looks like saran wrap.
- You've gotten the b/p cycle down so hard you can do it in under 5 mins and don't need to use your fingers anymore.
- You've b/p-ed fruit loops just to see if it would be fun colors.
- When you decide what to order at a restaurant (or anywhere else, for that matter) by analyzing how hard/easy something
will be to puke up - and by how long it will take to digest.
- Youve puked in your car (bonus points for doing it on the way to your therapist).
- Your grocery bill exceeds your rent.
- Your brother says "no, she wont have dessert, your bathroom's closed".
- Your friends only ask you to eat with them AFTER the nights over.
- You've turned down sex with a guy you love b/c you have to go puke.
- When you forgot you ate hot cheetos earlier and you think something got cut on the way up because your puke is blood red.
- When you think twice before eating a bagel.
- You argue with your couselor about haveing to get ensure or slim fast for nutrients. Too many calories that I could be
using else wise. And people give you evil looks in the on campus store while buying them.
- You cancel study sessions for your final so you can b/p. Who the hell cares if you will fail....
- When you have mastered steering your car and puking into a bag while in a hurry to make it back home.
- When the only way to make you happy after eating is getting rid of the evil bloating your stomach.
- When you purge in the snow in the driveway of you i'n-law's house.
- when you are thinking/planning what your next purge is going to be while you're purging.
- You actually think to yourself 'i don't see the problem w/ this, i'm just recycling'.
- When you buy food in the duty free shop as a present for someone, then have to puke in the airplane bathroom because youve
eaten it all (plus the nuts, crackers, crappy meal, and everything else you could get your hands on).
- When someone asks if you're high because your eyes are so bloodshot, and youre acting dazed and confused.
- When you can plan a trip to the grocery store in your head because you know exactly what's on every aisle (bonus if you
count this among your top fantasies).
- Choosing restaurants with the best toilets.
- Knowing all the public trash bins to get rid of evidence.
- Never being without breath mints.
- Stash of baggies and to-go cups in the car.
- Having delivery service on speed dial.
- Finding the smell of puke comforting.
- Finding chunks days later in strange places.
- When your mother catches you digging a hole in the woods behind your house because lately you've been scared you were
going to clog up your toilet (again) so you've begun purging into large plastic garbage bags and hiding them in a suitcase
in your closet but the stench has become almost unbearable so you have to bury them in your backyard.
- During those emergency outside purge sessions you know just how to do it so nothing will splatter on your new shoes.
- You eat a breath mint freak out about how fat it is going to make you & purge after.
- Your chin is constantly broke out & you tell people "this new soap I tried made me break out so bad" everyday for
- You watch someone else eat a hotdog & feel the need to purge.
- You walk your dog after every meal, even when she/he doesnt want to go for a walk & you have to drag him/her out of
the house so no one will know what you are doing.
- Your brother/sister/mother/father/boyfriend/girlfriend buys you chapstick constantly cause you say your lips are chapped
to explain the redness around the corners from shoving your finger down your throat so hard.
- You blow off your friends b/c you've just b/p and need to work out for two hours.
- When you feel too fat to leave your house.
- When any food you look at, the 1st thing you think is asking yourself how easy it will be to purge.
- When you turn down a dinner date b/c you dont want to have to purge in the bathroom then have the chance of kissing you
after with nasty vomit breath that the package of breathmints might have missed.
- You read labels at the grocery store not just to find out how many cals/serving, but how many cals per package.
- When you've memorized how many cals per package for your favorites.
- When you can look at all the food in your house and invision how it tastes/looks/feels comming back up...
- When your mother buys you a trash can for christmas that isnt solid and is built kinda like a screen so she knows you
can purge in it because of the holes... since you threw away the last trash can for your room because it was so nasty with
- When you ask the dentist to pull all your teeth out so that you can puke without your teeth in.
- You know all the "in's and out's" of the olestra diet.
- When you can describe in great detail the bathrooms of many restaurants.
- Your family thinks your favorite song is one with alot of yelling and drums because you always play it in the shower.
- When youre parents tell you that you should "hug the porcelin god" when you want to puke because theyre sick of finding
it in the trash or clogged sinks. And that if you keep taking their food theyre going to kick you out of your house and let
you die on your own in your own apartment.
- When black coffee burns aaaaaaaaaaaall the way down, and for hours after, and NOT because it's hot.
- when you binge while reading ana books then purge immediately after so you'll feel as good as the girl in the story and
wont feel guilty about reading the book.
- When you eat 3 mini bags of doritos and 4 pudding cups for breakfast then panic and purge it all up only to eat more of
the same in the afternoon only to purge and end up eating chocolate before bed but you're so tired by then you're unable to
purge but you feel guilty and promise yourself you'll fast tomorrow to make up for it.
- You go through a 24 pack of water bottles in a week because by now you need to drink 2 bottles at a time to get up all
the food you ate.
- You start a progress thread only to realize that yes, you do binge, and yes, you do purge all. the. time.
- When you wake up in the morning and your stomach is in pain and you have no idea weather it's because you're starving
or because you stuffed yourself last night.
- You always carry in your bag, a massive sized water bottle, breath spray, gum, lipgloss, tums, tissues, compact mirror,
eyedrops...just in case...Yet if someone were to ask you if u had a pen...
- When you can barely walk over to the bathroom because you've binged too much...