So…. my story. I’ve always been a little bit “chubby”. But at
age thirteen, 180 pounds, and only five foot seven – I decided to do something about it. My mom, dad, and I all went
on the Atkins’ diet. I was very diligent and within a year was down to 135-140 pounds. Everyone was very proud of me
and my weight loss, and how healthy/good I looked. And I was proud too. I ended up maintaining at 140-145 for about a year.
I played with “anorexia” a little – highly restricting my food intake; but those periods only lasted for
one, two at the most, weeks. I also tried purging after eating a lot a few times – but nothing ever came about.
My anorexia officially started in October 2005. It started as another one of my “experiments”
and it just kinda stuck. I started out just restricting a lot – and then went to basically not eating breakfast or lunch.
Dinner is a family meal – so I hardly get away with not having it. And weekends I’m often required to eat being
I got lots of support from “pro-ana” sites. Some may try to blame my anorexia
on those sites – but that’s really not so. I was gunna be anorexic - sites, or no sites. But those websites –
they kept me from trying a lot of really harmful stuff that I totally would have tried had I not been warned by much information
only found on the “pro-ana” sites. Binging/purging for example – there’s so much extra crap that comes
along with that, and it’s very addictive. I totally was gunna try to force that to work – but with more info,
I chose not too. I also got helpful tips on how to stay hydrated, get the vitamins I needed, and basically keep from killing
I’m not sure exactly what started my ana. Maybe as a recovered cutter I needed
something to continue “control” on my life. Maybe, seeing as it started in October, is was the anniversary of
my sister’s attempted suicide. It could be any of millions of reasons – but the only thing I know for certain
is that I am anorexic (NOS); and I am not yet ready to seek any form of recovery.